Wednesday, February 21
INDEX OF ME alphabetically I am often the first bastard of roll call bashful and beady-eyed child of Linda and Marguerite I was born through donor-insemination which makes me dangerous! every day I am a daughter and every day I field calls from unknown numbers on my phone hello gainesville hello hoosick falls you could be anyone holding me at arms length there are half-siblings I’ve never met I know Eli (ten months older) who lives in seattle with his mothers I was joking when I dangled his lucky blanket over the grill there was a kite flying overhead we were sleeping in a tent like wombats we bonded over the fountain of our faces drank too much limeade couldn’t find mars back home in new jersey I was dim as a statue I spoke only through signals wore a funny green hat was private preferred mustard sat in the schoolyard like a quilt sniffed flowers sniffed the social worker when she ran out of games walked home on Wednesdays struck through “father’s name” with a pen tried my best at badminton brought lunch in a paper bag untied the borrowed sweater waved hi to principal Vance at lunch they asked me whichisyourrealmom whosthedad I am eight but I will take an X-ACTO knife to your face you’d never see me coming you’d only see a flurry of hands I am a zoo I am a zoo and I will make a mess of you (Luciana Arbus-Scandiffio)