Saturday, July 12

THEY/THEM

said short: i feel more like a stud. said
with some nuance: as if i came to
masculinity through the women’s gate,
as if a daughter who grew into her father
but not like trans, but like trans or
a transformation without catalyst
or smoke. or more like born
in the right body too early or born
at the wrong time, in the wrong language.
i remember Tommy said he (is he a they now?)
lived for how i put it in that one poem “more
tomboy than boy” and i think that’s what
language does—builds a room made for living.
and who have i followed further into myself?
Cam, Paula, Tommy, Fati, Andrea, Auntie George
or anyone who saved me from a body of silence
by just living their lives in the sun? and if
the soul is a table on which the body sits
crowded with the meat and the marrow
and the red, red wine, around me sit
too many ghosts to ever rest in isolation.
of course you should address me in the plural.
said short: i am everyone. i am everything.
said shorter: i am.

(Danez Smith)