Monday, May 16
LUNAR NEW YEAR
Never did I imagine you
gifting him a 红包. Never did I imagine
you gifting him a 红包 on 新年,
on our 新年.
Never could I have imagined you,
standing on our doorstep one cold yet bright
February afternoon & saying, 这是给
他的, then handing me
a 红包 for him.
So 红, this 包, so unimaginable
for you, my mother, who never
imagined my life
as a life, not really, not
with him, never with a 他.
Never did I imagine your not, your never,
your always capital N No
unraveling. I’m still having trouble
imagining you
like this. Imagine that: me, beaming, leaping
for this. A rain
droplet of a thing, really.
A real glimpse,
gleam finally,
of flowers. (Chen Chen)